お料理（かぼちゃの中華風そぼろ煮）

More Japanese recipes! Today's dish is a Chinese pumpkin, potato, and pork...thing. Wasn't really sure how to translate the Japanese title, so "thing" will simply have to suffice.



Chinese Pumpkin Thing

Yield: 4 servings

Ingredients:

• 300 g pumpkin
• 250 g potatoes
• 150 g ground pork
• 2 shiitake mushrooms
• 2 tsp minced garlic
• 2 tsp minced ginger
• 1 tsp toubanjan (Chinese red chili paste)
• 1 tsp tenmenjan (black Chinese miso)
• 2 stalks scallion
• 1 tsp sesame oil
• 2 tbsp salad oil
• Potato starch dissolved in water (as needed)
• Frying oil (as needed)
(A)
• 1 tbsp sake
• 2 tbsp soy sauce
• 2 tsp sugar
• Dash of pepper
(B)
• 2 cups water
• 2 tbsp sake
• 2 tbsp soy sauce
• 1 tsp sugar
• Dash of pepper

Preparation:

Peel the pumpkin and potatoes and cut each into large chunks. Fry both in the frying oil at 170°C. Cut the shiitake mushrooms into thin strips.

Cook the pork in the salad oil, then add mixture A. Then add the shiitake mushrooms, toubanjan, tenmenjan, garlic, and ginger. Add mixture B and the pumpkin and potatoes, then boil covered for 10 minutes.

Add the dissolved potato starch as needed, then add the scallions, and top with the sesame oil.

***

I'm sure you could use any sort of pumpkin for this as long as it's of the baking variety. I peeled the green skin off with a carrot peeler, but maybe there's a better way to do it? My peeler is pretty new, so it was up to the job, but a duller peeler probably wouldn't have made a dent in the pumpkin. And I as usual left out the mushrooms since they taste like crap. I also recommend this served with or over rice.

写真

I also thought I'd add some recent pictures. Wheeeeeeeee.



It may be too warm to snow in the town, but at least the mountains have gotten some.



Some mountain-side stairs that go to...



Some very old tombstones. These were scattered all over the mountain.



Some fish in a temple pond. Guess I couldn't get more stereotypically "Japan" if I tried.



The winter seashore. It was much colder than it looks.

お料理（エビのカレー春巻き）

And it's long time, no see again. Life hasn't been too exciting. It's winter and, though it's fairly warm, it's still sort of nasty and bleagh. That and as I'm once again in the throes of crippling depression, I'm afraid I haven't felt much like writing. But we recently checked out Japanese cookbooks in one of my classes for a "thank god you passed your ridiculously difficult exams for high school" party, and I felt inspired to cook something for the first time in...well...a long time. It's not Nintendo, but it's still, you know, Japanesey. Or something.



Curry Shrimp Rolls

Yield: 4 servings

Ingredients:

• 12 shrimp, deshelled and deveined, then chopped into pieces
• 3 slices of bacon, cut into 1 cm pieces
• 1/2 onion, diced
• 1/2 bag thick bean sprouts (futo-moyashi) (1 bag is 250 g), chopped
• 2 bananas, diced
• 8 spring roll wrappers (harumaki)
• Flour dissolved in water (as needed)
• Salad oil (as needed)
• 1 bunch steamed broccoli
• 8 cherry tomatoes
(A)
• 2 tbsp curry powder
• 1/2 tbsp chicken broth
• 1/2 tbsp soy sauce
• Dash of salt
• Dash of pepper

Preparation:

Fry the bacon up in a pan. Add the bean sprouts and onion and cook until tender, then add one of the bananas and the shrimp. Add mixture A and the remaining banana, then divide between the 8 spring roll wrappers. Brush the rolls with the flour dissolved in water, then fry in oil at 180°C. Garnish with the broccoli and tomatoes, if desired.

***

The recipe declares, "Banana and curry: A NICE COMBINATION!" Whoever thought of that must've been on crack. Well, to be fair, it's not necessarily a BAD flavor. I just really wasn't expecting it. I think next time I'd add less curry since it was pretty overpowering. I made half the recipe for dinner, and the amount was about right as a meal for one person. This was also the first time I've ever made shrimp by myself. Yay for picking out the "veins" or as they're really known, "poop tracts." Shrimp feces. Delish. Also, I bet these things would be better deep-fried. I pan-fried since I've never deep-fried before and am convinced I'd actually burn down the apartment if I attempted it. As a result, the rolls look pretty sad. Sad, sad rolls.

ユニクロ

Anyone's who been in Japan for a week probably knows about the store Uniqlo, and now that the brand is expanding, even customers internationally have shopped there. Uniqlo focuses on mostly basics that are bland, but really cheap. I picked up an entire fleece pajama set for about $6 there once. But they occasionally venture into the trendy, and have a section of their website devoted to showcasing these supposed runway fashions. Some of the combinations were so baffling I just felt I had to share. Enjoy.



Wandering around cold, lonely, and manically happy in the woods? Uniqlo has you covered. After all, it's well documented that the torso is the only part of the body that needs heat, so feel free to pair four bulky layers on top (five if you count the waist-tie thing) with thin leggings on the bottom. Don't forget the fur hat and boots, too. Finally, the fashion sense of a six-year-old girl in 1988 has been harnessed for today's rugged and independent woman!



This ensemble is for the modern girl striving to imitate Dicken's erstwhile orphans, or perhaps the intrepid street urchins from Newsies. It's the only way I can rationalize those breeches along with the newspaper (?) clutched just out of sight. The shame in the model's eyes is almost palpable.



Flannel. Two sets of arm warmers. Not one, but two waist-tie ass covers. A fur headdress straight out of the caveman exhibit at the natural history museum. Over-sized pink earmuffs. White leggings. Thigh-highs. Not sure what else to say here.



To look into these eyes is to know DESPAIR.



This wouldn't be so bad if it weren't for the 18 ass covers strapped to her hips. One of the points of these photos is to show the possibilities of Uniqlo's collection. One fleece alone is nothing special, but seven? Eight? Now that's the ticket. At least she brings her own seat padding with her wherever she goes. Even the humblest rock feels like an expensive sofa thanks to Uniqlo! YES.



A tire-sized cowl neck paired with a purple man-skirt that doubles as a throw rug? GENIUS. I love his expression here. Like you've just interrupted a VERY BIG STAR reading a VERY IMPORTANT SCRIPT. This man is GOING PLACES. Just look at his rings if you have any doubts.



Here we have desperately emo medieval page-boy. With the flannel, two-color tie, and undone shoes, you can tell this is no normal peasant.



Rather it is one particularly prone to swooning.



Not really sure what to say here. I guess Uniqlo is trying to say it's equal-opportunity? Though if I were going to cross-dress, I think I'd go for something flashier or at least a little more STYLISH than Uniqlo. But hell, we can't all look our best while grocery shopping. The bag full of perilously balanced vegetables along with the coquettish pose reminds way too much of Art Frahm, though. Really not the best assocation. But it's the face that gets me the most.




THE FACE.

All right, well, I for one am looking forward to Uniqlo's spring line-up. Less fleece, perhaps, but I'm sure there will be plenty else to enjoy. These trends will undoubtedly take the nation by storm.

秋

Just thought I'd post some fall photos from the other day. The last one was taken in a forest I got lost in after taking a wrong turn somewhere in my car. Notice that the road isn't paved. Luckily, no monkeys showed up.

病院

It's been a slow few weeks. I've been sick for most of them with a persistent cough/cold that simply will NOT go away. Even Nyquil hardly makes a dent! My visit to the clinic resulted in stomach medication. Oh, yes. That will certainly help clear my lungs.

Doctors in Japan, and the whole medical system itself, are profoundly different from those in America. For most people in America, there is an inherent distrust of doctors. What they do is mysterious, and could result in a pair of forceps being accidentally left in our intestines for years. Doctors must constantly protect themselves from accusations of malpractice by having consent forms, explaining things thoroughly to the patient, and double or triple-checking whenever possible. Whether this is a good thing or not is hard to say. It may make the patient safer, but it also forces the doctor to waste time and effort explaining complicated concepts to people who, from lack of expertise, are unlikely to be able to make an educated decision regardless. But it's what I'm used to, and I take comfort in knowing what's going to happen to me in a hospital.

Not so in Japan. Here, patients are expected to place full, unconditional trust in their doctors. Questions aren't asked, and explanations aren't given. It is up to the doctor and the doctor alone to decide what is best for the patient, and the patient's role is simply to cooperate and put up as little fuss as possible. Japanese patients seem willing to accept that their knowledge is extremely limited, and happily defer to the more experienced doctor. I'm not sure if this respect extends itself to the nursing staff, but I imagine it would.

Many Americans, at least those not in an emergency situation, feel free to offer their own self-diagnosis to the doctor, and their own suggestions as to the proper medication and treatment. If the doctor disagrees, fights can ensue, and patients can threaten to switch clinics, which loses the doctor revenue. Though I feel that the patient's thoughts are important, it doesn't make sense to me to actually ARGUE with the doctor unless he or she is somehow completely off-base.

But in Japan, the patient doesn't get that sort of courtesy. Hence why I got stomach medicine for my cold. I'm still baffled by that one. I wasn't told what sort of medicine I would get before I had to pay for it, and I can't even really read the directions for use anyway. I wasn't asked or expected to give information to the doctor. He was to examine me and come up with his own conclusions based on what he found. Scientific, perhaps, but I'm pretty sure my stomach is just fine. Not sure what happened there.

It is still somewhat common in Japan for terminally ill patients suffering from cancer or some other disease to NOT BE TOLD their diagnoses. Many doctors seem to feel it's not worth causing the patient "mental anguish" by telling them that what they have is fatal. The patient's family will be told, but the subject himself will be left in the dark so as to live out his final days "in peace." In most cases, the patient himself doesn't want to know, either. He simply trusts that the doctor has his best interests at heart, and any withholding of information is for his own good.
I just don't get it.

The Kurosawa film "Ikiru" deals with this when its main character has stomach cancer, but isn't told so by his doctor. He gleans the truth all the same, and resolves to change his life slowly but surely in the little time he has left. He takes risks and shouts and breaks out of the dull cycle of bureaucracy he was stuck in for so long. The movie takes jabs at the medical industry, presenting the message that it's better for the patient to be informed. Then he or she can use their last moments how they see fit, instead of slowly wasting away without knowing why. I can't help but be inclined to agree.

In less serious news, hospitals in Japan are also really IV happy. Anyone who comes in, regardless of their diagnosis, is hooked up to an IV with electrolites and other stuff. The thinking seems to be that such a precaution couldn't hurt, but WHY anyone would want a useless IV is beyond me. I had to really campaign at the clinic to not get an IV stuck in my arm. If a needle isn't going to save my life, I could really do without, thanks.

ハロウィーン

Halloween isn't celebrated in Japan. At some of the big department stores there might be "Halloween corners" which have maybe a cheap mask or two and a lot of Nightmare Before Christmas merchandise, but that's about it. Docomo had a Halloween promotion this year, but all it involved was inflating an orange Mickey Mouse pumpkin in front of every store. Restaurants might put a fake cobweb on the wall or something, but that's about as far as the Halloween spirit extends.

Halloween is my favorite holiday, so this makes me very sad.

Some foreigners take over a car on the orange Osaka Loop Line train every year and turn it into an impromptu Halloween party, but it apparently just involved a lot of costumes, beer, and screaming. As a result, it was reportedly banned this year, and police threatened to arrest anyone in costume found on the train (can anyone confirm this?).

There are other less intrusive Halloween celebrations happening in large cities all over Japan, but in my neck of the woods, there wasn't much. So I would simply have to celebrate Halloween all by myself. How hard could it be?

1) Costumes

Halloween just isn't Halloween without a costume, so I decided to dress up to school and spread the spirit. I needed something safe for students (I guess that rules out sexy schoolgirl) and needed something they'd immediately recognize. I ultimately decided on Hermione from Harry Potter. I'm the biggest nerd EVER.

Uniqlo (sort of the Japanese Old Navy/Gap) helped me out with the gray sweater and socks, I got a tie from a 100 yen shop (the Japanese dollar store), and a cape from Loft (the Japanese store of AWESOMENESS). Complete with a "wand" I found outside (a piece of bamboo), my look was complete. I might be the only person dressed up in a 100-mile radius, but at least I was observing the holiday.

Sadly, I have no pictures of my costume. I was too busy dodging elementary school kids who wanted to touch "Harry Potter" to get a picture. Alas.

2) Candy

YES! THIS is where Halloween really shines. I love candy with an unhealthy passion, and was eager to see what sorts of weird Japanese sweets I could find.

Though, as it turns out, Japanese chocolate SUCKS. There are laws here strictly limiting the amount of cocoa butter that can be in chocolate which means that it's all sorta flaky and dry. MMM.

I managed to get some fun-sized (blasphemy!) Crunch bars (tasted like normal Crunch to me) and pumpkin-flavored Kit-Kats at a department store an hour away called--no joke--"Mipple."

Now, I love pumpkin-flavored anything, so was excited about the Kit-Kats. Kit-Kats in Japan come in TONS of flavors like green tea and cherry blossom, so pumpkin wasn't really a stretch. However, these were NASTY. Ugh. Tasted nothing like pumpkin and more like stale, orange cardboard. But I was prepared to give them out anyway.

No kids came to my door, of course, but I was permitted to give out candy at the elementary schools as long as the kids promised to not eat them until they got home. Yeah, right. But the kids agreed, so candy for all! I couldn't give out candy at the middle schools no matter what the kids promised, so I gave out erasers and stickers. Lame, but I didn't have much choice.

I wanted to play a game at the schools where you pass around a bowl filled with peeled grapes or something and tell the kids they're eyeballs, etc., etc. The kids wouldn't actually eat any of the food, and it was a common Halloween game in the states. Perfect, right? When I proposed the idea, all the teachers looked horrified. "That is a waste of food," they said, shaking their heads sadly. "We don't waste in Japan. We're environmentally conscious." Damn. Okay, then. If a food fight ever broke out, the entire student body would probably be expelled.

3) Pumpkins

There aren't many big orange pumpkins around here, so getting one takes a lot of time and money. Since I wasn't interested in wasting either, I decided to try my hand at carving Japanese pumpkins which are small, green, and designed for cooking. I bought two at the local bank/clothing/gardening/convenience store (you know you live in a small town when all that's combined into a single, tiny room) and set to work. I was ambitious at first and wanted to try a bat, but since I had no pumpkin-carving knives and no serrated knives, even, it was really, really difficult. After I finally managed a bat using a dull switchblade (I don't know why it was in my kitchen, I swear), I just made a traditional jack-o-lantern face for the second pumpkin.

Check them out!







The kids next door were really excited when I put these outside, and ran out to watch me light them. However, since it's much warmer here than in the states (it was low to mid-70's), the pumpkins started molding immediately. After a week had gone by, they were black, crumbling, and infested with flies, so it was time to say goodbye. I threw them out on Halloween. I am so ashamed.

***

Other than that, there wasn't much to be done. I considered trying to trick-or-treat, but feared I'd be chased from some old woman's yard with a broom or something. Many of the older generation look at me with undisguised hate/fear, so I didn't want to try my luck. Oddly enough, I'd be more willing to trick-or-treat in the city since people would probably just roll their eyes and tell me to go away. Here, the houses are far apart, and the whole town would know immediately that the foreigner was "trying to break into people's houses" or something. Fun times!

お料理（チンジャオロース）

Beef is really expensive here, but I really wanted something new, so I settled on this. This is one of those recipes where you should be able to find all the ingredients whether you're in Japan or Canada. I'm also including the ingredients list in both Japanese and English just in case other JETs want to give this a shot. Or someone who actually knows how to cook in Japanese could corrent my measurements or something. The "1/6片" ginger really threw me off. What does that mean?



Roast Chinjao

Yield: 1
Time: 10 minutes (yeah, right...but this is what Nintendo tells me)
196 kcal

Ingredients:

50 g thinly sliced beef	５０ｇ　牛肉（網焼き用）
1/2 tsp + 1/4 tbsp soy sauce	小さじ１/２＋大さじ１/４　しょうゆ
1/4 tsp + 1/4 tbsp sake	小さじ１/４＋大さじ１/４　酒
1/2 tsp potato starch	小さじ１/２　片栗粉
1/4 tsp + 1/8 tsp sesame oil	小さじ１/４＋小さじ１/８　ゴマ油
1 green bell pepper	１個　ピーマン
1 cm scallion	１ｃｍ長さ　白ねぎ
1/3 cm fresh ginger	１/６片　しょうが
1/2 clove garlic	１/２片　にんにく
1/4 tbsp oyster sauce	大さじ１/４　オイスターソース
1/8 tbsp sugar	大さじ１/８　砂糖
Dash of pepper	少々　こしょう
1/4 tbsp water	大さじ１/４　水
1/2 tsp + 1/2 tsp salad oil	小さじ１/２＋小さじ１/２　サラダ油

Preparation:

Deseed and core the bell pepper, then slice lengthwise into thin strips. Mince the 1 cm scallion finely. Peel the 1/3 cm fresh ginger, then mince finely. Peel the 1/2 clove garlic, then mince finely. Set aside.

Cut the 50 g thinly sliced beef into narrow strips. Place the beef in a bowl, then cover with 1/2 tsp soy sauce, 1/4 tsp sake, and 1/2 tsp potato starch. Mix well. Pour 1/4 tsp sesame oil into the center of the meat, then set aside.

In a small bowl, mix together 1/4 tbsp sake, 1/4 tbsp oyster sauce, 1/4 tbsp soy sauce, 1/8 tbsp sugar, dash of pepper, 1/8 tsp sesame oil, and 1/4 tbsp water. Set aside.

Add 1/2 tsp salad oil to a frying pan and set on high heat. Add the beef and stir until it’s color changes to brown. Place on a plate and set aside.

Add 1/2 tsp salad oil to a frying pan and set on medium heat. Add the scallion, ginger, and garlic, then cook until they begin to smell strongly. Add the bell pepper and stir, then add the beef again. Add the soy sauce mixture from before, then turn the heat to high. Stir until most of the sauce is gone, then transfer to a plate and enjoy.

***

This was actually pretty tasty, though I'd probably put in more bell pepper next time. This recipe also has a lot of sesame oil. I used to like sesame oil, but I accidentally ate a pancake soaked in it last week and haven't been able to enjoy it since. Bleagh.

学生

The third year students had to ask me questions the other day. As a way to practice writing and speaking, they write down random questions, ask me them, then attempt to write my answer in English. This actually kind of sucks, though, since I get asked the same damn things every class. "What did you have for breakfast this morning?" (though it's usually more like "Morning breakfast did have?"), "Do you like Japan?", "What animal do you like?"

But one kid hit me with something out of left field the other day:

"Which do you like better, your mother or your father?"

Daaaaaamn. They've just learned the "Which do you like better, apples or oranges?" grammar point (and I got asked that exact question, too, by another student), but this was a use of it I hadn't seen before. I stammered out that I liked both equally. What did they expect me to say? Then I asked the kid the same question he asked me.

He replied, without hesitation, "My dad." "Why?" I asked. "Because my mom is scary." I couldn't get anything more than that out of him, and I keep trying to figure out what it means.

Another kid in the group replied, "My mom." Why? "Because she's scary." Okay. What?! "I have to like her more or else she will get mad and scary."

Ooooookay then. I'll just leave that issue alone, then.

Another kid asked me, "What's your boom?" In Japan, "my boom" (pronounced "mai buumu") is whatever you're really into at the moment. Like watching 24 or listening to 80's music or something. Basically, your own personal trend. I said, "Watching Japanese drama" (I'm ashamed of myself!). Another girl said, "Talking." Talking?! This is a recent trend for you? She literally does talk almost all the time, though. But it's not exactly a hobby, is it? Oh, well.

***

I had a lot of free time yesterday and decided to sit in on the first years' gym class. Today's topic was judo. The kids were divided into boys and girls, shown a move, then ordered to "go at it."

The girls, as expected, would delicately hold the collar of their partner, then sort of slowly and carefully lower her to the ground. Afterwards, of course, they apologized. The "throwing" of judo had become "gently nudging."

The boys, however, were another story all together. Most couldn't figure out how to do the correct judo move, and so simply began tossing each other all over the mat. One boy was standing a bit off to the side at first. He always sits very quietly in class and seems incredibly shy. He takes notes diligently, and is the only one who actually looks at the lyrics for the song "Imagine" anymore. I call him "Mr. Turtle" in my mind since he's so meek and has a very round face.

(Note: We've been listening to "Imagine" by John Lennon four times a day, every day, ever since September. I told the English teacher that if we listened to it one more time, I might just snap, but he refuses to change the song until December. I offered to find more contemporary music and help him translate the songs into Japanese, but it was a no go. The kids hate it, but there's no changing his mind.)

Anyway, he's always accosted in class by the kid who sits next to him. This boy is about the opposite of Mr. Turtle. He's just plain "Ostrich" (no Mr. for him) since he has a really long neck, spiky hair, and sleeps all class with his head down. He occasionally pops his head out of the sand just long enough to yell to his friends across the room and throw some papers or marbles at them. Then it's back to sleep.

Mr. Turtle just lets Ostrich copy his work and tries to stay out of his way. But in gym class? Mr. Turtle was letting the kids, including Ostrich, have it. I mean REALLY slamming them into the mat. And with the correct judo move, too! Any kid that approached him immediately found themselves lying on the mat and staring at the roof.

I couldn't help but clap and cheer when he did this, and I did the same when one of the girls finally decided to stop being a priss and completely destroyed her opponent. All the other girls stopped what they were doing and cried out, "That was so...unlady-like!"

The girl who did the throwing, instead of offering the usual apology, just said, "I know" and gave this evil little smile.

I think I need to go to gym class more often.

Engrish

Because sometimes even the sheets need to chip in to achieve it.



Specifically designed and cushioned for Asian asses.

猿

As I've probably mentioned before, there's a lot of wildlife here. I nearly ran into a herd of about 10 wild boars with my car the other day, and bears apparently live behind my house, though I haven't seen one yet. I see snakes almost every day, and spiders are all over the place. Monkeys are pretty common, though I hadn't been able to get a decent picture since they tend to come out at dusk (very poor light for pictures) and run away quickly before I can go get my camera. One passed right by my car today while I was searching for my cell phone (it was lost behind the back seat, it turned out), and I followed it until it sat down in a field to eat. I ran to get my camera, and to my surprise, it was still there when I got back! So I snapped some pictures, though since it was dusk, the quality is terrible. I tried to brighten up the pictures with a paint program, but they're still pretty bad. They're called Japanese macaques, in case you're curious.



Anyway, this one was a pretty big male (red balls swinging in the breeze and all). It didn't appreciate the flashes of my camera, and then I made the mistake of looking into its eyes. This is a BAD THING. I was maybe 15 feet away from it while taking photos, and it started running after me after a few pictures. I ran like hell (it was FAST) and managed to make it to my apartment unscathed, thank god. The monkeys are known to attack children and old people, and a nearby English teacher told me about one of her students who has scratch scars on her face from an angry monkey. Yeeks.



Maybe I'll leave photos of wildlife to the professionals for a while. I don't want a monkey to maul my face.

Here's a real macaque taken by a real photographer. One that probably wasn't screaming while fearing for her life.



A friend told me to make friends with the monkey and bring him back to America. I said that I was terrified of the monkey. After all, what if he sandwiched me between his massive, sagging, scarlet balls? I would be so sad.

But then I thought that I would at least be warm. The weather's turning cold, and there's little to no heat here, and nothing's warmer than hairy monkey balls, no siree! In fact, I should manufacture a monkey ball coat. All the old ladies here would go nuts (oh, the pun) over it, I'm sure. The luxury of fur, and warmth of monkey, the potency of primate semen. It's got it all!

My friend, upon hearing this, replied that I obviously needed to get laid.

*sigh*