お料理（鶏肉とカシューナッツのいためもの）

Another recipe. What can I say? Right now, cooking is probably my only socially acceptable hobby. Unfortunately, shouting at my new Nintendog is not, though I certainly do it quite a bit.



Cashew Chicken

Yield: 1

Ingredients:

• 60 g chicken breast
• 1/2 tsp soy sauce
• 1/2 tsp sake
• 30 g cashew nuts
• 1/2 green bell pepper
• 1/4 red bell pepper
• 1/4 stalk scallion
• 1/3 cm fresh ginger
• 1/4 red chili pepper
• 1 tsp salad oil
• Frying oil (as needed)
• 1/2 tbsp red miso
• 1 tsp soy sauce
• 1/2 tsp. sugar
• 1/4 tbsp sake
• 1/4 tsp Chinese soup stock granules
• 1/2 tbsp water

Preparation:

In a small bowl, mix together 1/2 tbsp red miso, 1 tsp soy sauce, 1/2 tsp sugar, 1/4 tbsp sake, 1/4 tsp Chinese soup stock granules, and 1/2 tbsp water. Set aside.

Cut the 60 g of chicken breast into 1-inch pieces. Place the chicken in a small bowl, then cover with 1/2 tsp sake. Set aside.

Remove the seeds and cores of the bell peppers. Cut the 1/2 green bell pepper, 1/4 red bell pepper, and 1/4 stalk scallion into half-inch pieces. Peel 1/3 cm fresh ginger and mince finely. Chop the 1/4 red chili pepper into thin rings. Set aside.

In a pot, add some frying oil and heat until the oil begins to give off heat. Add the 30 g cashew nuts and deep fry until golden brown, then turn off the heat. Put the nuts on a paper towel to drain. (I was lazy and just pan-fried the nuts instead. Be careful! They burn VERY quickly!)

Add 1 tsp salad oil to a frying pan and set on high heat. Add the chicken, vegetables, and ginger, then cook until the chicken changes color. Turn the heat to low and add the soup stock mixture. Add the cashew nuts and stir well.

Transfer to a plate and enjoy.

***

My local store didn't have any red chili peppers, so I had to make do with pre-cut dried chili flakes. Not knowing how much to put in, I decided a "few pinches" would do. HOLY FUCKING GOD. That shit was pretty spicy, though I ate it anyway since I had put in all that work. So BEWARE if you aren't using a fresh pepper. I served this over rice since the serving for one really isn't enough for a meal. If you for some reason shun the life-giving grain that is rice, then double the recipe.

お料理（ビーフシチュー）

And it's time for another recipe from Nintendo. You've all had this before, I'm sure, but here's a sort of Japanified take on the dish, which pretty much means it has way more tomato flavor than is necessary. And yes, in case you were wondering, I have only one bowl. Only one spoon, fork, cup, and pair of chopsticks, too. Maybe I should go shopping.



Beef Stew

Yield: 1

Ingredients:

• 80 g beef chunks
• 1/2 clove garlic
• 1/8 carrot
• 1/2 potato
• 2 small onions (my local store didn't have these because it sucks. I just used a quarter of a regular onion cut into chunks)
• 2 mushrooms (EVIL!!)
• 2 string beans
• 1 tbsp flour
• 6 g butter
• Dash of salt
• Dash of pepper
• 1/2 tbsp salad oil
• 1/4 cup red wine
• 2 tbsp tomato puree
• 3 g buillon cube (what kind of buillon? Your guess is as good as mine. I'd guess BEEF considering the nature of the stew, but the dissolved product looked like chicken broth to me.)
• 1 cup water
• 1 laurier leaf (what the hell is this? It looks just like a bay leaf to me, though it has a really strong tea smell. Who knows?)
• 1/4 tbsp sugar

Preparation:

Peel the 1/8 carrot and cut into 1-inch pieces. Peel the 1/2 potato and cut into 1-inch pieces. Peel the 2 small onions, and cut X’s into the top of each one. Cut the stems from the 2 mushrooms and discard. Cut the tips from the 2 string beans, then cut each bean in half. Set aside.

Boil some water in a pot and add a dash of salt. Boil the string beans until their color brightens, then empty into a collander. Peel 1/2 clove garlic and mince finely. Set aside.

Add 1 tbsp flour to a frying pan and set on low heat. Stir until the flour turns golden brown. Add the 6 g butter and stir well. Dissolve the 3 g buillon cube in 1 cup water, then add gradually while stirring. Then add the 2 tbsp tomato puree and stir well. Add the 1/4 cup red wine, 1/4 tbsp sugar, and laurier leaf, then turn the heat to medium. Stir constantly until boiling, then turn off the heat. Place this sauce in a bowl and set aside.

Place the 80 g beef chunks in a bowl, then add a dash of salt and pepper. Set aside.

Add 1/2 tbsp salad oil to a frying pan and set on medium heat. Add the garlic and cook until it begins to smell strongly. Then add the beef and cook until golden brown. Add the carrot, potato, small onions, and mushrooms, then cook until all the oil disappears. Add the sauce from before, then turn the heat to low. Stir the stew occasionally until the vegetables get soft. Add salt and pepper to taste, then add the string beans.

Remove the laurier leaf, transfer to a bowl, and enjoy.

***

I'm not sure how I feel about this one. I'm not a big fan of tomatoes, and this definitely has a strong tomato flavor. Also, I didn't boil the vegetables nearly enough at the end, so they were pretty tough. The meat was also way too tough for some reason...I must've cooked it too long initially, or else just not boiled it enough afterwards? Eh...I'm no chef. But I got really impatient with the loooong boil. The sauce reduced a LOT, and in my boredom I drank about half the bottle of red wine used in the recipe. Oops. All in all, I thought it tasted okay, though maybe that's because I was a little drunk. I'll probably give it another go later this week.

旅行

Whoa, long time no post. Crippling depression tends to stunt one's literary flare.

Anyway, I went to Kyoto/Osaka this past weekend because I figured it'd be better to be alone in a big city than alone in the land of fish and...more fish. Someone who lives here asked me why I was wasting a year of my youth in this barren place. You know it's bad when even the locals think you're fucking crazy for living among them.

The trip wasn't terribly eventful, though I must say I really hate waking up to vagina in the morning. Why would someone in a youth hostel sleep in the nude without even a blanket or something? I wake up, hear a loud *snooooooooort* of blissful sleep coming from my right, look over, and BAM! Vagina. Right there.

Hosts at gay bars are also really, really friendly, though they'll charge you about a bajillion dollars for food when you try to leave. Like I wanted to eat that weird sesame jell-o anyway. I guess it was our fault for wandering into the gay district without noticing.

I went to some famous aquarium in Osaka when there were also 5,000,000 other bored people wanting to see some fishies. I'm such a good vacation planner. It was also the only spot where I remembered to take out my camera, which meant I took about a thousand pictures. Seriously. I felt I had to make up for lost time.

I stood here for 45 minutes to see some fish, which I can see every day right outside my apartment. My life has reached a new low.

After finally reaching the front of the line and forking over $20, it was time to literally dive through some crowds. Mothers with small children became full-fledged linebackers...fellow tourists were jabbed with elbows and beat with Louis Vuitton bags. Once a path was cleared, the kids were shoved painfully into the aquarium window, given a cell phone, and ordered to "take a good photo for Daddy." Once the picture was secured, the kids were swept off to the next animal. I actually have a bruise from one particularly vicious mother.

Every exhibit looked like this.

My view before fighting my way through the crowd. Repeat this epic struggle about 30 times, and that will give you an idea of my trip.

However, since I can't use my digital camera for shit, all my photos are terrible. But check out a few all the same.

Dolphins drinking the clear, pure blood of the innocent.

After a while, I finally made it to the main tank. It's apparently the biggest tank in the world, which I can believe since it spanned several stories and had a fucking WHALE in it.

Well, a whale shark. Close enough. It was still pretty big though.

Check out the mother/child in the window on the left. That'll give you an idea of the size of this manta ray. The whale shark was around twice the size of this guy.

But the other animals were not to be denied.

A rare photo of a seal after it had, sadly, watched a copy of the tape from "The Ring." Am I the only one who will get this reference? Probably. And I wonder why I have no friends.

A kick-ass sun fish. I love these things. They're about six feet tall, and like to run into plastic walls a lot. Fun!

Um...fish. Lots of fish. I guess that's all I have to say about this one.

JELLY JELLY JELLY JELLY JELLY.

Taking pictures from below makes me feel artsy. I believe this ray's brother was the murderer of one Mr. Irwin. May we all observe a moment of silence.

Osaka Bay. There was a man juggling lit torches behind the building on the right. Alas, he is not visible here, but I thought you should know.

Okay, that's enough damn photos. I pity any of you on dial-up, but I myself am on dial-up, so whatever. Look at the pretty, pretty fishies.