ようこそ

Hi there, people who are reading this.

I got to Japan about two weeks ago, and I'm ready to go insane.................right about now, I think.

It has proved to be impossible for me to think or speak in Japanese. What a surprise. So all responsibility has been ripped from my life, and I am at the beck and call of my superiors (here, every single person in Japan).

I stamp stuff I don't understand, and nod at comments I can't comprehend. That and the local grocery is overflowing with tentacles. Hence the blog name. Even when you think you're safe with cookies or something, you look down and see that there's a cute little octopus printed right there on the dough.

I hate tentacles. I don't think this is an unusual thing for most Americans. I can imagine quite a few people who would somewhat dislike the gentle suction you can feel on your tongue when the meat is rather fresh. Not to mention that lovely "old tire" texture that, more than anything else, exemplifies the ganbatte "not even a crab latched onto my testicle can stop me now" spirit of Japan.

100 degrees in the summer, you say? No, no...take that air conditioner away. That fan, too. Insulation?! Feh. Barbaric. My job here is not to teach English. No, as a new member of the community, my duty is to suffer with everyone else, and to call out "Hot, isn't it?" approximately 1,000,000 times a day to every person I see.

So, welcome to Japan. It can only go up from here. Right?